The Okonamiyaki Type
by Shashuko the Paisley Maiden
Summary: Ranma 12 xOver. After Ranma chooses Akane over the other, Ukyo is devasted. She moves to another town disguised as a boy and starts over at Ouran High School.... RanmaxAkane RyougaxUkyo HanixShampoo and of course everyone else wants Haruhi.


"Kuonji-kun! Where are you going?" It was some girl in Ukyo's

class... Usuda, was it?

"Home," growled Ukyo. "I have a restaurant to run."

"Oh, I forgot." Usuda walked away to her friends.

Ukyo sighed. Maybe going to school again as a guy hadn't been the smartest idea... and all of the kids here were scarily rich.

"Kuonji!" said a voice behind her. Ukyo rolled her eyes and turned around. It was the third year, Tamaki Suou.

"You seem popular with the ladies..." Tamaki said. Ukyo sighed inwardly.This guy was like Kuno. Only, he was somehow popular. And he didn't fight.

"And? Make this quick. I have to open Ucchan's in time."

"I was think.. you might like to join the OURAN HIGH HOST CLUB!"

"No," said Ukyo flatly. "I have enough problems with girls bugging me as it is."

"Please?" he gave her a Puppy Dog look.

"NO. Good day, Senpai."

Ukyo walked out the doors of Ouran High and ran to Ucchan's to open up shop.

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Work went well. All of the regulars came, no one stood there for five hours trying to order, and none of those annoying brats who walked up to the counter and pulled one-yen coins out of their pockets one at a time until they had enough for a small order.

After most her customers had gone home, she got a phone call from Akane.

"Hi, Ukyo," said Akane nervously. She wasn't sure if Ukyo was still sore over the 'Final Battle' for Ranma (at the end of which Ranma had told Kodachi, Shampoo, and Ukyo to shut up because he loved Akane), which had happened about half a year ago.

"Hi, Akane," sighed Ukyo. "How are you?"

"Fine. How are you?"

"Umm… good?"

There was an awkward silence. A muffled shout was heard from Akane's end of the line.

"AKANE! GET YOUR DAD TO STOP HUGGING ME! PLEEEEAAAASE!"

Ukyo cracked up. Akane started laughing, but not as hard as Ukyo.

"So you told your dad?" Ukyo giggled.

"Yeah.." said Akane. "Umm..."

"What?"

"I'm.. sorry. About your being rejected and all."

"Don't be," said Ukyo. "I just need to cool off awhile..."

"Well... he just shouldn't have been so blunt. I feel... guilty."

"I just feel bad for poor Ranchan. If Shampoo can't marry him, she must be trying to kill him!"

Akane growled. "She hasn't given up..."

"Oh... bad for you, then. That girl just doesn't know when to quit, does she?"

Someone opened the door of the restaurant.

"Oh! A customer! Call me back in half an hour or so, will ya?"

"Okay," Akane said, in a bit better mood than usual.

It was a girl with short brown hair, wearing a pink spaghetti-strap dress with a white tee-shirt and jeans underneath (like Haruhi's outfit in the episode of Ouran high where we met her dad for the first time).

"FUJIOKA-KUN?" Ukyo gasped. _'Fujioka's an okama! Fujioka's an okama!'_ rang the little voices in Ukyo's head.

Ukyo classmate smiled. "Hi, Kuonji-kun! I didn't know you ran a restaurant!"

"Ucchan's okonamiyaki. Started about a year ago in Nerima. Now it's here." Ukyo said, trying her hardest not to mention Haruhi's choice in clothing. "What would you like?"

"Umm... how about pork?"

Ukyo nodded. She poured the first layer of egg onto the giant griddle that she used.

"So... I didn't know you dressed ... like that ... outside of school," said Ukyo, making idle conversation. "Or ever."

"Actually, I'm a girl," Haruhi explained.

'_Oh,' _thought Ukyo. " WHA-? Then why do you wear the boy's uniform?"

"When I started school, I couldn't afford a uniform.. then I broke a vase that belonged to the host club when I walked in there by accident. They gave me the uniform. They didn't know I was a girl, so I got the boy's uniform. I became a host. I got a little hooked... which is why I'm still doing that even thought my debt was paid off. It's easy. I just sit there and be myself."

"And they still think you're a boy?" Ukyo asked.

"Oh, the other hosts found out. Tamaki-senpai, Hikaru, and Kaoru keep trying to dress me up in girls' outfits... it's really annoying..."

"HEY!" said two voices behind her speaking in unison. "We resent that!"

Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin walked in, followed closely by Tamaki.

"Is it really that annoying?" Tamaki asked in a whiny voice.

"YES!" Haruhi said loudly.

"Welcome to Ucchan's okonamiyaki! May I take your order?" Ukyo asked perkily.

"Kuonji-san, you work here?" Hikaru and Kaoru questioned in unison.

"Yes. I run this place too," she said.

"I'll take a pork okonamiyaki," said Hikaru.

Ukyo nodded and turned to Kaoru. "And for you, other Hitachiin?"

The twins grinned (a/n: that's really fun to say!!). "We'll share," they said creepily. But since Ukyo knew Happosai it didn't scare her much (it doesn't get much creepier than Happosai!)

"I'll have... what kind do commoners usually order, Haruhi?"

"Whatever kind they like," said Haruhi crossly as Ukyo flipped over Haruhi's okonamiyaki and put it on a plate.

"Here," she said. "That'll be 1100 yen, please."

Haruhi looked at the okonamiyaki. There was a picture of a pig drawn in the sauce. She smiled, and then reached into her wallet to pay the bill.

Ukyo took the money, thanked Haruhi, and started making the twins' beef okonamiyaki (she drew a cow on it).

"So..." said the twins. "Didn't it strike you as odd to see Haruhi dressed as a girl?"

Ukyo laughed. "Yeah, but she explained."

Tamaki looked shocked ('cause he was). "Haruhi... YOU TOLD KUONJI?!! WE DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN TRUST HIM!!!"

"Her," said Haruhi. "Kuonji-san is a her."

"Kuonji's a GIRL????" Tamaki yelled.

The twins' eyes widened, but they weren't as shocked as Tamaki.

"How d'you figure that?" Ukyo asked, narrowing her brow.

"You just look like a girl." said Haruhi.

"You're the first person to see me in full disguise and just know that I'm a girl," Ukyo said thoughtfully.

"That's my girl!" Tamaki said proudly. "She's so perceptive!" he hugged Haruhi.

"Tamaki-senpai! Let go!"

Hikaru looked at Kaoru slyly. "Does this mean we have another toy?" he asked, grinning like the devil. Kaoru copied his twin's expression.

"T-toy?" Ukyo asked, looking more than slightly angry.

Haruhi glared at Hikaru and Kaoru. "They'll try to dress you in girl's clothes, use you to tease people..."

Ukyo glared. "I am DONE dressing up for boys," she said darkly. Sheflipped over the twins' okonamiyaki rather violently.

"Too bad," said Hikaru...

"Because..." Kaoru wheedled...

The twins spoke in unison, their vioces gaining a very, very evil tone. "We can tell the other members of the host club or even the whole school your secret..."

Ukyo grabbed a gigantic spatula off the wall (yes, THE spatula) and threw it.

It flew right between the twins and landed on the wall behind them.

Everyone, with exception of Ukyo, stared at it. She grabbed some normal-sized spatulas and held them like daggers.

"I wouldn't do that if Iwere you, sugar," she taunted, feeling like her old self again for the first time in five months. "I haven't practiced in awhile, but I still know more than one use for a spatula. Kapiche?"

The twins seemed shaken for a minute, but they soon regained their

evil grins.

"If you try to hurt us..." started Kaoru...

"We are friends with Haninozuka Mitsukuni." Hikaru finished.

Ukyo raised an eyebrow. "I knew that already. Haninozuka's the short one, right?" she asked. "I've heard of him. He's the karate and judo champion around here."

She smirked. "While I wasn't exactly Top Dog back in Nerima, I was at least on the Top ten! And in that town, you know, we have martial artists like crazy. I fought those who might be number one and almost bested them..."

"But then I found out you were a girl, and that fight was never finished" a male voice said and Ranma Sataome walked in as if he had not a care in the world. "Haninoozuka Mistukuni, huh? Sounds like someone who I'd have fun fighting."

"You'd challenge Hani-sempai?" Haruhi asked. "People don't generally survive him very well."

"I bet I could beat him," Ranma said cockily, turning to Ukyo. "Hey Ucchan! No hard feelings about the whoel fiance thing, right? I mean, you're my friend and I still say you're cute. But I like Akane..."

"I'll forgive you after awhile, Sataome, but right now I don't want to talk to you." Ukyo voice was not angry. It was as just cold. Cold as if Hell had frozen over and stolen all the warmth that Ukyo owned to become twice as hot as before.

"Fiance-deal?" the twins asked slyly.

"I don't want to talk about it!" said Ranma and Ukyo at the same time.

"Speaking of thing I don't want to talk about, have you seen Ryoga?" Ranma muttered. "I kinda made him tell Akane he's P-chan..."

Ukyo walked over and slapped Ranma. "RANCHAN YOU IDIOT!" she yelled. "THAT SHOULD'VE COME WHEN RYOGA WAS READY!!!"

"Please don't hit me Ucchan," Ranma said. "I just want my old friend back. Is that too much to ask?"

Ukyo let go of Ranma, and then dropped to her knees. "I spent all that time humiliated..." she said to herself. "And in the end, I had sarcificed my feminity for nothing. All that teasing..."

"If you don't like being talked to as if you're a guy then why are you posing as one at school?" Tamaki asked, his eyes in tears from being caught up in the moment.

"After all that time..." Ukyo said, only half to Tamaki. "I don't know how to just be a girl. I know to be 'the cute fiance' and I know how to be 'The Okonamiyaki Transvestite.' But I don't know how to be 'Ukyo.' So I went back to like I was before I saw Ranchan again."

"Don't be silly!" Tamaki shouted, now fully moved by the situation. "You can be a girl again! We'll teach you!"

"Tono! What are you talking about?" the twins asked.

"Teach me...?" Ukyo asked. "Who? Teach me what?"

"We at the Ouran High Host Club! We'll teach you to be a girl!" Tamaki yelled, taking Ukyo's hand.

Ukyo took the hand Tamaki had grabbed and used it to throw him into a wall.

"Good luck," she said, walking away.

"Your school has a Host Club?" Ranma asked in bewilderment.

"Yes, we do," Haruhi sighed.

Ranma stared at Haruhi. "Who thought of that dumb idea?"

"Tamaki. Who is dumb," Haruhi said coldly. Tamaki got into the fetal position in one of the corners of the resturaunt.

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The next day, Ukyo was walking from her last class to her locker when she was bowled over by a Small Blonce Thing.

"You're Ucchan, right?" The Small Blonde Thing's name was Haninozuka Mitsukuni.

"Yes, I am," Ukyo said suspiciously. "Why?"

"Pleased to meet you, Ucchan!" Hani hugged the unsuspecting okonamiyaki chef. "The Host Club needs you!"

"WHAAAT?!?" Ukyo yelled. "For the last time, no! I am not jining the Host Club!"

"Follow me please!" Hani took Ukyo's hand in a death grip and dragged her forcibly to the Third Music Room. "Kyou-chan wants to talk to you!"

"Who's Kyou-chan?" Ukyo asked. She didn't know why, but something about that nickname was forbodingly evil.

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"Kyou-chan! I have Ucchan wth me!" a small and hyper blonde yelled.

Ukyo entered the Third Music Room, pulled along by Hani of course.

"Help..." she said to no one in particular.

Hani let go of her and the felt two pairs of hands grab her and put a blindfold over her eyes.

"HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON?!?" Her mouth was then gagged. "MMPH!"

Ukyo struggled but somenoe manages to tie her down to a hard wooden chair. The blindfold was removed and she was in a room that was dark except for the light from the uncovered window, facing a very amused Ootori Kyouya.

"Good afternoon, Kuonj-kun. Have a seat, why don't you?" The Shadow King's glasses gleamed.


End file.
